February 19/Friday after Ash Wednesday
For I acknowledge my offense, and my sin is before me always:
“Against you only have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight.”
~ Ps 51.5-6
Not long ago, after a botched ice-maker repair by a local company, I fumed to my husband, “The worst thing is that they didn’t even apologize!” Reluctance to acknowledge one’s error is not limited to service technicians, of course. When caught in the wrong, most of us will go to great lengths to avoid admitting it. We dismiss, excuse, or rationalize our error. The paperwork was lost; he made an outrageous comment that I couldn’t leave unanswered; she misunderstood me; it wasn’t really that bad: the litany of defense can be long indeed. “I’m sorry – I was wrong” are words that cling to our tongues, reluctant as we are to release them. Such words, we think, deprive us of power, and they leave us feeling vulnerable and ashamed. In truth, they are the only way forward. All of us who sin — and that is, of course, all of us — hurt God, hurt others, and hurt ourselves. We cannot repair the damage until we acknowledge it, and we cannot be healed until we admit that we are broken, perhaps by assembling “searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,” as many Twelve Step programs phrase it. We might not like what such an inventory may yield. But whatever they are – a petty spirit, an envious eye, a judgmental heart, a thoughtless attitude – these offenses are what we must offer to God, trusting that he will forgive us. The means to mercy is not by defending, excusing, or ignoring our mistakes and transgressions, but by humbling ourselves to say both to God and to others, “I’m sorry – I was wrong.”
Lord Jesus Christ, Give me the humility and the moral courage to acknowledge my sins both to you and to all those in my life whom I have offended. Amen.
For today’s readings, click here: https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/021921.cfm
To hear the Choir of King’s College, Cambridge, sing Allegri’s “Miserere Mei,” click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX1zicNRLmY
